Today is an anniversary. A very very special anniversary.
Today is my beautiful daughter's tenth birthday.
She has been in our life for more than a decade. I say more than a decade, because while it has been a decade since I laid eyes on her, I knew her for 9 months before that.
On this very special anniversary in which we celebrate the 10 years of joy this beautiful Daisy has brought to us, I thought it appropriate to share the story of my miracle child.
I feel very blessed to have been very aware of my children during each pregnancy. It has been so fun to look back and recognize that these beautiful little people are the same little people I got to start getting to know before they were even born. Each one still has the same personality that I felt growing inside of me.
With Daisy, this showed up in how she listened.
Example: The first time I went to the Dr, he had a very difficult time finding the baby's heartbeat. She kept moving all over while we were there. So the next time we headed in for a check-up, I talked to her (remember, this is in the 1st trimester of pregnancy. It is said that the baby is not a human at this point. I will never every believe that), I told her that there was nothing to be afraid of, we just wanted to make sure she was doing well.
She was still so we could listen to her heartbeat. Yes, it would be very easy to say that was a coincidence. But it wasn't. That was not an isolated incident.
Daisy was very active before she was born. She liked to kick (I swear she bruised the inside of my ribs. She did pop them once.). She listened to us. She recognized her father's voice, and his hands. If he would rub my belly, she would calm down. She would curl up into his hand to be rubbed. Occasionally, she would put her hand up against his. He could feel each finger pushing against him through my skin. She would listen to him sing. It was amazing how aware of us she was.
Because Daisy was overdue, the Dr recommended an induction. We went to the hospital and got ready. In the morning, the Dr told us she was up too high, and if she didn't come down in 6 hrs, we would have to cancel the induction and try again later. So Joel and I walked the halls of the hospital and talked to our baby that we couldn't see. We told her it was time for us to meet her. We told her we were so excited to see her. We told her that she had to move down and come out to us now.
She came down so far so fast that I wanted to push for 8 hours before the rest of my body was ready for it.
Backing up just a little bit here- when we first came to the hospital, I talked to the nurses and the Dr. I know my body pretty well. I have some health issues, and always have. I am the 1%. I told them this. I said "Be ready. I don't know what is going to happen, but I know this is not going to go as you expect it to." They smiled gently at me and said, "You'll be fine, don't worry!" I said, "I'm not worried, I just know this. Trust me. Please, be ready." And received again the gentle smile and head shake and calming comment.
After the Dr broke my water and as we were waiting, Joel read to me. He read what we were currently reading in the Bible. This is a part of what he read in Joshua chapter 1:
As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. 6 Be strong and courageous,
7 “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
"Only be strong and courageous!”
Then things got more intense, and I needed him to do more than read. ;)
Really, everything went quite well (except that the baby was so incredibly low....) until after Daisy was born.
Another example of how well Daisy listened to us: when they put her on my belly with the umbilical cord still attached (her dark brown eyes wide open) and she started crying I said (utterly unknowingly- remember, this was my first), "Oh, baby, it's ok, you don't have to cry!"
And she stopped. Just like that.
And the nurse stared at us and said, "yes she does!!!!" Oops. She didn't cry again. Until they suctioned her lungs.
And that was the last I saw of her for over 2hrs.
Because as the Dr was trying to get my placenta to come out (it was not cooperating), my uterus came out.
Things moved very fast for me after that. A human uterine inversion is a really big deal. It's not like when it happens to a cow (that's called a prolapsed uterus)- then it's not a big deal. The vet puts it back asap because otherwise it's very hard to get back and more likely to happen again- but there's not much blood, and it's not life-threatening. I grew up as a vet's daughter. I saw cows in that situation all the time. It took me a few minutes to realize that it was a much much bigger scarier deal when it happened to me.
By the time I realized the gravity of the situation, the nurses were wheeling me into the OR, and I was so weak, I couldn't even tell Joel I loved him. He stood there, holding our daughter and looking at me as I was taken away from him- for all I knew, for the last time. And I could not even speak to say "I love you". It was one of the most heartbreaking moments of my life.
While I was in the OR, Joel was with our parents and my sister, and our daughter. They prayed for me the whole time. Daisy was incredibly aware. She watched everybody. My Dad says she always watched Joel. And she knew him. If someone else held her, she watched Joel. If he held her, she relaxed. She recognized him. She felt safe with him. They had an amazing bond from the first moment.
I was fully aware of everything that happened to me until they fully knocked me out. I remember hearing the nurse saying my blood pressure and thinking "oh wow, that's not good". Then the warm blankets as they brought me out of it.
I had 3 blood transfusions and 10 liters of fluid. I was in the hospital for a week, and on bed rest for 2 weeks after that.
But I was there.
I held my daughter.
I nursed her.
I have watched her grow from this amazing, aware little listener
Into this beautiful, intelligent, loving 10 year old.
And I am thankful for every single minute of it.
God told me to be strong and courageous. And He took care of the rest.
And He always will.
Thank you, God.
A wolf in the hand
2 days ago