The Most Common Miracle

Just because it's common doesn't make it any less of a miracle.

Have you ever been present at a birth- or given birth yourself? Then you probably know what I mean.

It happens every day, multiple times per day, but every single time it happens it is still a miracle. A beautiful incredible unbelievable miracle. The miracle of a new life coming into the world. This miracle takes a wife, a woman, and turns her into something more, a mother.

Motherhood is the direct result of a miracle. And motherhood itself is somewhat of a miracle.  It is constant change, constant learning, constant growing, constant forgiveness. Just as the new life that caused this thing called motherhood is constantly changing, learning, growing, and needing forgiveness.

Last week, I had the most amazing opportunity to witness the most common miracle. And I have to tell you, it did not seem the least bit common. It was just as beautiful, just as amazing, just as mind-blowing as the first time I witnessed it and as the first time I experienced it myself.

The result?

Definitely not common.  New, amazing, awe-inspiring, tiny beautiful little human.  Look at that perfectly formed face and try to tell me that is not a miracle. A unique and fascinating miracle.

I have to say, though, this miracle happens because of another miracle.

Have you ever thought of how babies happen? No, really. 2 cells. Tiny cells that are invisible without special tools.  Those 2 cells come together and make one cell, then they divide over and over again. And look at what you get from those 2 cells becoming one:

Miracles. Constantly changing miracles. And I argue that the miracle starts, not at the process of birth or even the completion of birth, but at the beginning; when 2 microscopic cells connect and become one cell that then becomes many many many cells.

I'm making such an issue of this because it's been on my mind so much lately. Hearing about the Gosnell trial and the numbers of aborted babies both in China and the U.S; then going in to witness such an awesome thing as the birth of a baby..... Oh, dear friends, what has happened to our world!? To us? That we can sit by and let other people be murdered? That we can allow the most amazing miracle to be destroyed? Just because the miracle has become so common to us we forget what is really happening?

Babies are being killed. They are! I know people who believe in "free choice" of the mother have so many reasons for it- and if that is you, please don't tune out just yet.  I've heard how horrible it would be for the mother to have a baby she can't take care of; or how can you expect a victim of rape to carry her baby to term and have to remember the horror she went through? And I know there are so many more "reasons", but let me ask you this:

Remember last Christmas season? Remember the horror of someone taking a gun and killing children at an elementary school? I do. I remember the outrage that poured out of the internet and the news at the thought that someone would kill children. I remember seeing comments like, "There should be a special place in Hell  for someone that would kill a child".

How is that any different that what is happening every day in hospitals and abortion clinics all over the world???? But there is no outrage. There is a continued outcry for "freedom of choice".

My heart is breaking even as I am rejoicing over the birth of my beautiful niece.

There are so many women without children, so many that would rejoice over the opportunity to love the children that are "unwanted" even those who have developmental issues likes Downs Syndrome, whose mothers would take the "freedom of choice".  If a mother doesn't want or feels that she can't care for her baby, so many more mothers are just waiting, praying, begging to do that for her! Adoption is a win/win alternative to abortion! And what about those that do make the choice to end their pregnancy by abortion? I have talked with some of them. They wish with all their hearts that they had not made that choice.  They know that a baby is a baby from the moment 2 cells become 1.  A woman that has felt a baby move within her knows deep in her heart that the fetus within her is a little baby, a living human. She may choose to ignore that truth, but that doesn't make it any less true.

I have 4 of the most amazing miracles. And I remember being pregnant with each one of them.  I remember feeling them move within me.  Each one did different things. Each child, from before birth expressed his/her personality.  My oldest would jump and kick- she still does. She loves Taekwondo; she asks over and over for things, just like when she was inside me and would kick the same place over and over again.  My 2nd child pushed on me, stretched out as much as possible, and played with my belly button constantly. He still pushes every limit, stretching it out as far as he can; and he still knows how to push my buttons.

I could go on and on about my kids. About how their personalities matched their movements before they were even born; about the incredible miracles they are. Have you ever watched a child grow? It is mind-boggling, even if you just break it down into scientific terms. Did you know an infant doesn't have a kneecap? Just a tiny piece of cartilage that grows and becomes a kneecap around the age of 2 or 3.  Why?? Well, think about how hard it is to crawl on your kneecaps. So amazing! Every detail falls into place at just the right time, and this

rapidly becomes this

or this

or those children that were killed in their school on December 14th, 2012.

I see no difference in the humanity of those elementary school children and the children that are killed daily while in the womb. Life is life. A child is a child, no matter how old. Conception is a miracle. Birth is a miracle. Just because it is "common" does not make it less of a miracle. We need to protect children, not destroy them.

Welcome to the world, Daria Agnieszka. I hope we can make it a safer place for others like you.

A Post in Which I Unload My Mind About Books

I read a lot.
No, really, I'm serious. I read a lot.
I love it. I've been reading, well, ever since my parents taught me how by making me spell through the alphabet every time we got in the car. (I still have vivid memories of standing behind the driver's seat [this was before seatbelt laws] reciting, "At, A.T. Bat, B.A.T, Cat, C.A.T...." and so on)
I've always read as much as possible; genre didn't matter. I read classic fiction, historical fiction, mystery fiction, biographical fiction, romance fiction, comedic fiction, legends, mythology, fantasy fiction and science fiction.
I didn't really read very much Non-fiction, though. Oh, every now and then if I had to for a school assignment or something, but non-fiction was just so boring.

I don't remember when it started, but at some point after my first child was born, I started feeling guilty for how much I read. Guilty!? Why? Reading is so good, right? We are always trying to get kids to read; libraries, schools, everyone wants everyone to read, read, read! Why would I feel guilty for it? So I pretty much ignored the feelings, and convinced myself that it was alright, I was reading; reading is good.

But the feelings wouldn't go away for very long.
About a year or so ago, I couldn't get rid of the guilty feeling at all. I tried to convince myself it was ridiculous even as I went on another of my "binge" reading sprees (I get into an author or genre and go a bit crazy sometimes- a book or 2 per day for a month or so).
At around the same time, we were attending a new-to-us church and it was so great. I started feeling like I actually had a relationship with Jesus like I've never really experienced before. But I could not shake the guilt (In Christian-ese you'd call it conviction) about the reading.

And this is why:
^{Ephesians 5:15} See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, ¹⁶ redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

^{2 Corinthians 10:3} For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. ⁴ For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds,⁵ casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.

Proverbs 4:23  Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life. (what goes into my mind eventually gets into my heart) 

In addition to theses specific verses, as a Christian, my focus should be on Jesus Christ. When I am reading a fiction book, rarely is my mind on the Lord. There are some (I just finished one, actually, and it was fantastic), but the majority of fiction doesn't turn one's mind to Jesus. Especially fantasy fiction- which was my obsession for quite a while.

Another reason I was feeling convicted about reading so much- I was beginning to notice that when I read, my attention goes to the book and/or to myself and I begin to get short and snappy with my kids. Which is not okay. When they are just being kids and I am grumpy about it, something is wrong and it is time to start looking for the problem. (Hint: the issue is not with the kids)

All of these things hit me in the face in a very short amount of time. No longer did any amount of justifications or excuses change what I knew to be true. Reading is a problem for me. A part of my life I was not willing to surrender to the Lord. And that lack of surrender was holding me back from growth and blessing the Lord wanted to give me. I wanted to read what I wanted to read. To fill my mind with an alternate reality was enjoyable for me. I didn't want to let anyone dictate to me what I should and shouldn't read. 

I am a bit of a control freak. 

Okay, time to get to the point. 

Books are great. I love them. Stories are good. Jesus used stories to teach.  Not all fiction is bad. There is some very good fiction out there. But there is also some bad fiction. And it may not be bad in the way you expect. 

See, our minds are a battlefield. So often, we forget or just plain don't know this.  As Christians, we are in a WAR. A very real war. We just can't see it or touch it with our physical bodies. We are in a war for our hearts- and our minds. 

On one side is God- the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. On the other is Satan, the devils, the world, and our own sinful human nature. 

The war is already won, but the battles continue. And anytime we turn our minds off to what is true Reality and what really matters- a battle is lost.

Now I'm going to quote books besides the Bible to make my point.

I love this quote I just found- it says it so clearly and concisely:

I believe the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. This is why the devil tries to hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man's mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God. 

From Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. And it doesn't apply just to religious habit but to books or TV or any other alternate reality we engage our minds in!

And isn't that what Christianity is about? A heart engaging relationship with our amazing Lord and Saviour?

I'm currently reading Confessions of a Prayer Slacker by Diane Moody.
She makes a point I love:
To paraphrase - If the President of the US invited you for breakfast, how would you start your day? Hitting the snooze button on the alarm multiple times? Calling and saying you're too tired to come? Probably not. So why do we treat the Creator of the Universe- our Lord and our Saviour that way!?

Diane Moody is talking specifically about prayer there, but I love it. It applies to so much more than prayer!

What am I spending my time on? I'm always so busy (I bet you can relate), but I have discovered with all my busy-ness, that I always have time for the things I love to do. I always have time to read. I always have time to knit- if I really want to. We make time for the things we love. So how we are spending our time shows what we love.

 I tend to love alternate realities that are found in books. But those alternate realities- and the time they take- take me away from the things that truly matter in Reality. So are they worth it? That's time spent in a way that keeps my heart from engaging God.

It all comes down to what I really believe is important in life. If I really believe Jesus is important in my life, I'm going to make Him a priority. So if what I am doing is not drawing me closer to Him.....is it worth doing?

Probably not.

And that's just it.

Is it drawing me closer to Jesus- or drawing another person closer to Jesus?  Isn't that the purpose of my life?  So, shouldn't I be doing things that fulfill that?

This is the conclusion I've come to:
I have a desire to read; I love to learn. The thing is, what am I learning? Is it worth learning? I don't think my desire to read is wrong, I think that what I was choosing to read was not healthy. It was a victory for Satan because it was preventing me from engaging my heart with my God.
Now, I still read, but I actively seek books that will improve my relationship with my Lord. Books that will draw me closer to Him and keep me grounded in Reality- not books that will take me to Unreality.  Escape may be nice for a moment; but I have found that it damages relationships, rather than building them.

And there are a lot of books out there that are really worth reading!  I already have a list that will take me more than a year to get through. I'm finding that I am really enjoying the learning. I confess, I didn't expect to. My reading slowed down a great deal for awhile, but I'm finding books that I can really get lost in- and learn from at the same time.

Some of the books I've read recently that have really affected me:

Concerning Christian Liberty by Martin Luther (Soooooo good. Every Christian should read it.)
The Plug-in Drug by Marie Winn (I am so ready to throw out the TV forever!)
Lord Foulgrin's Letters by Randy Alcorn (highly recommend! Extremely thought-provoking!)
Pascal's Pensees by Blaise Pascal (Thoughts of an intelligent man on things that matter. Some great apologetics)

My current read: Confessions of a Prayer Slacker by Diane Moody. Only a quarter of the way into it, and loving it. It's hard to put down.

A (very small) portion of my to-read list:
Perelandra by C.S. Lewis
Lotus Buds by Amy Carmichael
Anything by G.K. Chesterton, John Piper, C.S. Lewis, and more.

Seriously, my to-read list is massive. When I was originally fighting letting go of my fiction, I believed the lie that to read what was truly good instead of just not "evil" would be boring and awful. That really is a lie. I am loving this. And I am apparently not the only one. Joel has made comments on how much more interesting our conversations are.  I'm not grumping at the kids half as much. I know, because they've noticed; and because their attitudes have changed too.  It's a win-win situation. Why did it take me so long to learn this!?
Surrendering everything to Jesus is always worth it.

^{Ephesians6:12} For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,^[a] against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

¹³ Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

¹⁴ Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, ¹⁵ and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace;¹⁶ above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. ¹⁷ And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; ¹⁸ praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints—

Your mind- my mind- is a battleground. Who will win the battle for your mind- and ultimately, your heart and soul? 

^{Matthew 6:19} “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; ²⁰ but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Finished Projects

I am so excited.

I have finished a project that I have been working on for over 2 years. Well, ok, it's not really completely done, but the hardest parts are done.

I have knit and written 24 original patterns for a big pattern book.

But it's done. I do still have to do some pattern editing, and get everything sent to the publisher- but that's the easy part. It's almost done. All the photos are taken, just waiting for some to be edited. Then it's up to the publisher.

I know it's still quite a ways away from being in print, but my big part is pretty much done. And I 'm very pleased with the end results.

All 24 of them.

I hope you will be too.

"Knitting Your Family Together"
Look for it in 2014.

Family Fun on the River

Last Saturday, we got to go play in the sun on the Columbia with some dear friends of ours.

It was a very special memory building time. None of us had ever been on a sailboat before, and our friends took us out in theirs. We sailed (ok, motored- there was no wind) from (almost) the I-5 bridge to underneath the I-205 bridge and back. It was a perfect sunny, quiet day for it.

Also last week, I wrote the last pattern for my book! I still have to finish knitting a sleeve, do a couple seams, and sew in the zipper for a photo shoot, but the pattern is written! Almost done! A week to remember.

Saturday at Grandma's

Somehow, Ian managed to not get his picture taken. I think it may have had something to do with the fact that he was busy chasing the cat wherever I was not. And that to play with the cat, he needed to not be near Milo, who seemed to scare the cat- and I needed to be near Milo. So, sorry, none of Ian on this one. Next time, though.....

Field Trip to the Zoo

 "It's over there, Mama."

Getting Crafty Again

Things are finally settling down with the new diet. I am not spending the entire day in the kitchen anymore, Praise God. It is much more "normal" now. A few hours here and there to make meals and prep for the next day. So much nicer. And the food is so yummy. That's one thing about the GAPS diet, the food is really good!  Although, even my nutritionist commented when I told her what I was doing: "That's a hard one to follow!"  Yes, it is, but we are doing it, and it is proving to be worth it.

Anyway, with the reduced time in the kitchen, I am finding time to do more fun things! Like sewing. And knitting. And playing Monopoly with my kids!  Daisy got a Monopoly game for her birthday a couple weeks ago (I now have an 11 year old!!! As well as a 9 year old, 7 year old, and 3 year old. Time flys....), and it is now set up on the card table in the Family Room and left there for when we have time 1 or 2 evenings per week to play together. It is so fun!

And as for knitting, well, I am frantically trying to finish my final book contract. I have one more pattern to knit, and 3 more to write up. (I've been slacking on the writing part- it takes time and privacy, both of which have been in short supply in recent months.)  I'm knitting the last sweater- and loving it.

While I am doing this in cotton/linen/bamboo blends, I think it would be more fun to knit in wool. Unfortunately, I have issues with animal fibers next to my skin, and since I would like to wear this sweater at some point, cotton/linen/bamboo it is. It just means I can't knit for long periods at a time, as my hands start to ache with the color work. When I get to the single color section, it will go faster, as it won't strain my hands so much. But this is where I am now. :)

And in the meantime, since I have to take breaks from the knitting, and I don't HAVE to be in the kitchen every minute- I have started doing something I haven't done in years!!
I actually started using my sewing machine to sew patterns.

Honestly, I don't think I've done this since I was 6.

I've done mending. A few years ago I free-handed a purse for myself- but I don't think I've sewn complete garments from a pattern since I was 6 years old.

And it turned out alright! I know I messed up in a few places, but no one can see it but me...
Certainly, the recipient was pleased with how her nightgown turned out:

And I am so happy to be able to be crafty again. :)